Hi everyone! I’m @evilprinxes and in this article I’ll talk about a very controversial topic: labels, and in particular labels that lgbtq+ people use to describe themselves.
Recently I’ve been struggling with my sexuality, and I’ve been trying to find a label that describes me perfectly. This research has been (and still is because I don’t really feel comfortable with the label I’m using) difficult for me, that’s why some weeks ago I decided to talk about it with my besties. They’re all so supportive and they really helped me by accepting me no matter what, but one of them said something that made me think a lot. She said that I shouldn’t worry about the label, that it’s better to not have one, that she will never use a label to define herself and it’s not necessary to find one for me. Basically what she wanted to say is that my research was a waste of time.
When I read her message I felt like my experience wasn’t valid enough, or wasn’t as valid as hers, and I started feeling even worse, because I not only didn’t know my label, I also didn’t know if having one was the right thing.
So I had some me time and I asked myself why I wanted to find a label so bad.
I realized that I was looking for it because I wanted to be part of a group of people that could understand my situation, I didn’t want to feel alone as I used to be at first, because even if my friends really helped me, they haven’t gone through what I have.
I also would like to know and understand myself in order to accept and love myself more. I understood that these reasons were perfectly valid, and I should have gone further with my research if I wanted to. And I did.
But on the other side, my friend was right too: finding a label isn’t something essential and it’s okay to not have one. But it wasn’t the right solution for me.
So now you may be wondering what is the moral of the story, so I’ll tell you: having or not having a label is something extremely personal, and every experience is valid. But the ones who prefer to not use a label shouldn’t make people who want to feel like their research is a waste of time and not so important, because it is, and people who want a label shouldn’t judge the ones that don’t want one as well.
Remember that everyone is different but not less valid than others.
But what should you say to someone that is struggling with finding a label?
According to my personal experience, there are some tips that could make people looking for their label feel a little more loved:
Listen to them. Maybe they just want someone to talk to, so let them do it.
Do not compare your experience to theirs if it is not requested.
If they ask you to help them, please do it. By doing this they’re exposing themselves so help them.
Just make them feel loved. They won’t forget it.
Remember that at the end of the day, they’re always the same person, so treat them as you used to do before.
And that’s all! Remember that if you want someone to talk about anything you can always dm me on my personal account, @evilprinxes and I will try to help you. And most importantly remember that you’re valid. I will never stop saying this. I send you lots of love my beautiful souls.
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